Fat Cat Keeps Getting Fatter

I love Jemaine.         

He is one of the funniest cats I have ever met.  In honour of my chubby-bellied little kitty, I began to sing him a song this morning.  Later on, I thought more about it, and decided I would write out the lyrics on my break.  You can sing along if you know the tune…and I’m pretty sure you do…         

I like big guts and I cannot lie
You other kitties can’t deny
That when a cat walks by big swingy waist
And a fuzzy butt in your face
You get sprung, wanna pull out the catnip
‘Cause that gut just droops and dips
Deep in the fur he’s wearing
I’m hooked and I can’t stop staring
Oh baby, I wanna snuggle with you
And take your picture
My homeboys tried to warn me
But that gut you got is oh so blubbery
Ooh, Rump-o’-fuzzy-skin
You say you wanna get more kibbles?
Well, use me, use me
‘Cause you ain’t that average kitty
I’ve seen him drinkin’
From the fountain
His head, is wet,
Then he scoots like a turbo ‘Vette
I’m tired of magazines
Sayin’ skinny cats are the thing
Take the average cat lady and ask them that
He gotta pack much back
So, people! (Yeah!) People! (Yeah!)
Has your kitty got the gut?  (Hell yeah!)
Tell ’em to swing it!  (Swing it!)  Swing it!  (Swing it!)
Swing that healthy gut!
Kitty got back!         

Ahhh...what a life...


30 thoughts on “Fat Cat Keeps Getting Fatter

  1. I read the first line of your song…. You are a genius! I know all the words to that song, and I tend to break it out when I drink too much. My friends think it’s hilarious because it’s so out of character for me.

    I’m going back to read the rest of your post now. I’ll be back. =)

  2. Pingback: My, we seem to be a little short on brotherly love round here. « The $#!& I Think About

  3. Haha, that’s hilarious! We used to have a fat little cat when I was young (her name was Kittiwee of all things)…I used to sit with her every afternoon on the back steps while I ate my afternoon tea. When she lay down her tummy would spread out over the pavement so she looked like a flat round thing with fur and legs!

    • All three of my cats tend to roll into the “shrimp kitty” look on their side and eventually that morphs into something on their back. Cats only expose their tummies to people if they’re comfortable with them. I shouldn’t know that, but I do. I wonder what tidbit of knowledge I lost so that I could gain that one…

  4. With my cats I often get a “round thing in my face.” That is, they suffocate me with fur.

    My cats are very much “Special Cases.” “Don’t tell my cats what they don’t do right or tell them when they scratch they make you cry.”
    “Take a look around the houseee. You see such bad things happening. There are many good catsssss. But obviously, my cats are none of them.”

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