Euphonious Fridays – Detachable Penis

John S. Hall of King Missile (Source:

Okay.  So I know that most of you are wondering just why I’ve decided to choose a song called “Detachable Penis” as my song this Friday.  Well, I’m glad you asked.

I almost decided to let you all know about my discovery today with another post – I checked the listing of the ways that people found my blog today, and the only search term listed was the following:

“MS paint penises”

That’s right.  It would appear that someone wanted to find some very well done illustrations of penises using Microsoft Paint.  So I’ve talked about MS Paint before, but I didn’t really think that my blog had the word penis anywhere in it, but hey.  I can’t remember everything I’ve ever written.  I may have used the word when I was discussing American Psycho.  But aside from that, I can’t even think of when I would have needed to use the word.  In any case, I’m now rectifying the apparent lack of ‘penis’ on my blog.

So, to the seeker of MS paint penises today…I salute you!  You have inspired my featuring of the King Missile hit…”Detachable Penis”.  I can’t say I know a whole lot about the band.  Perhaps I should have checked out their other music, but this was just a fun song.  They’ve been described as “anti-folk”.  They do a bit of spoken word work.  And they’ve been kicking around making music (experimental rock, avant-garde jazz, dark ambient, surreal humour, neo-psychedelia) since 1986 in various incarnations with an ever-changing band line-up.  This song debuted in 1992 and became an immediate hit for the band.  I recall hearing the song quite a bit during high school and cracking up whenever it was on.

So really, I don’t know what the song is about.  Sure it’s about a penis…and it’s detachable.  But there are rumours that it goes much deeper than that…emasculation?  A metaphor?  Or is it really just a song about a man and the search for his detachable penis?  The lyrics are right below here.  You can decide for yourself!   Don’t be offended…it’s all in good fun!


I woke up this morning with a bad hangover
And my penis was missing again
This happens all the time
It’s detachable

This comes in handy a lot of the time
I can leave it home when I think it’s going to get me in trouble
Or I can rent it out when I don’t need it

But now and then I go to a party
Get drunk
And the next morning, I can’t for the life of me
Remember what I did with it

First I looked around my apartment
And I couldn’t find it
So I called up the place where the party was
They hadn’t seen it either

I asked them to check the medicine cabinet
‘Cause for some reason I leave it there sometimes
But not this time
So I told them if it pops up to let me know

I called a few people who were at the party
But they were no help either
I was starting to get desperate
I really don’t like being without my penis for too long

It makes me feel like less of a man
And I really hate having to sit down
Every time I take a leak

After a few hours of searching the house
And calling everyone I could think of
I was starting to get very depressed
So I went to the Kiev and ate breakfast

Then as I walked down Second Avenue towards St. Mark’s Place
Where all those people sell used books and other junk on the street
I saw my penis lying on a blanket next to a broken toaster oven
Some guy was selling it

I had to buy it off him
He wanted 22 bucks but I talked him down to 17
I took it home, washed it off
And put it back on

I was happy again, complete
People sometimes tell me
I should get it permanently attached but I don’t know
Even though sometimes it’s a pain in the ass
I like having a detachable penis

Detachable penis
Detachable penis
Detachable penis

Yup, so if you haven’t yet been offended, here’s the video for the song.  Apparently recorded off of VH1.  Is VH1 even still around?  Does it still play music videos?  Cuz MTV and MuchMusic sure don’t.  Awesome.


2 thoughts on “Euphonious Fridays – Detachable Penis

  1. Love this song! Great choice for a music revolution 🙂

    Isn’t it amazing how some people find our blogs? I find some of the search terms fascinating but others just down right disturbing. i decided to stop checking the search terms a little while ago because I was afraid that I would lose faith in all man kind!

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