Waiting in Vain

Have you ever made a decision that required…well, something…that would feed back the next step to you?  It took a lot of weighing the options to make the decision, so after all the thought that went into it, you’re finally content that you made the right one.  But then…you wait.

That’s exactly where I am right now.  Waiting.  I feel like I’ve already made the changes in my life that I’m trying to make, and all systems are go.  But they really aren’t.  And it’s so hard to go through the waiting part.

Why do we, as human beings, sometimes bank so much on the choices we make?  There’s typically a bigger chance that the choice we want isn’t even a realistic option.  We try to obtain an item, or go down another path…and it doesn’t work out.  We routinely set ourselves up for the eventual fall.  Should we ever really get our hopes up about anything?

I think that’s what bothers me the most about hope…”don’t get your hopes up” is such a common warning.  Well, why not?  So we won’t be disappointed, I suppose.  Though sometimes disappointment is what drives us to push even further to achieve what we want and get where we want to be.  Unfortunately, if you’re like me, you plan several scenarios for yourself.  Multiple pathways to the same hopeful outcome.  And when none of those outcomes lead where you wanted them to, well…it’s not pretty.  All that work…for nothing.

Can we fight our human nature to prevent such disappointment?  Perhaps…but if we do, then what?  Sure, we might end up preventing disappointment, but then we stagnate.  We become complacent with our lives and never strive for change.  I say make your life changing decisions and flirt with the possibility that you’ll be disappointed.  Because when you find the one decision that finally sticks, the waiting in vain will have all been worth it.


Better Things

Life often takes us in unexpected directions.  Take for instance the other day.  A friend from undergrad posted on my FB page that a position opened up in his wife’s office…in Nunavut.  All joking aside, due to some circumstances in my life at the moment, I started to highly consider the possibility of applying for the job.  It’s in the field that I went to school for, and quickly fell out of due to oversaturation in the market of GIS in Southern Ontario.  To find a job in the field straight out of university, I likely would have had to have applied overseas.  There are loads of GIS jobs in the Middle East for instance…but I can’t see myself there.  One, I’m too pale to deal with that much sun…and two, I just hate the heat.

Enter the Arctic.  I wouldn’t have to worry about the sunlight.  And I certainly wouldn’t have to worry about the heat.  Perfect, right?  Well, except the distance from home, cost of living, and lack of knowledge of the region that I have.  Oh, and the potential for health care issues based on my insulin pump therapy.  But aside from all of those things…

Wow…what an adventure it would be to completely move somewhere far from much of civilization and be surrounded by only about 7500 other individuals.  Many of whom are of a culture I’ve never encountered on a regular basis.  This is taking my recent desire to move out of the city and find a farm and live off the land, and multiplying it tenfold…oh and adding snow and ice.

I presented the idea to my husband, Ian, and he said “Go for it!”  Now…THAT was actually a bit of a shocker.  I expected the thought to die there, but even after twelve years together, the man can still throw me a curveball.  So then…what do I do?  It has been less than two days since I discovered the opportunity on my radar, and in those two days, I’ve discovered a lot about the changes that would be required, and the steps to get there.  Am I going to apply?  Absolutely.  I can’t see a more adventurous opportunity coming into my life anytime soon.  And so I will tweak my resume yet again, and hopefully word my cover letter well enough that the folks up in Iqaluit will see the spark of excitement that has ignited within me.

If only the cats don’t mind flying…