Do You Believe In Rapture?

Stop me if you've heard this one before... (Source: Wikipedia.org)

So, did you hear?  The rapture is apparently coming.

For me, it’s today in about 5 hours.

So I’m spending my last few hours posting rapture-related items to my Facebook page and then I’m going to go dig in the dirt.  I figure if I go work in the greenhouse up here in Iqaluit, at least I’ll feel I’ve had a productive last few hours.

I thought it was important though, to discuss some other times the rapture was supposed to have arrived.  I’m not feeling very creative right now, so I’m going to copy from Wikipedia…verbatim.  Hope no one minds…I don’t usually plagiarise like this.

So…some of the most notable rapture predictions include…

• 1844 – William Miller predicted Christ would return between March 21, 1843 and March 21, 1844, then revised his prediction, claiming to have miscalculated Scripture, to October 22, 1844. The realization that the predictions were incorrect resulted in a Great Disappointment. Miller’s theology gave rise to the Advent movement. The Baha’is believe that Christ did return as Miller predicted in 1844, with the advent of The Báb, and numerous Miller-like prophetic predictions from many religions are given in William Sears book, Thief in The Night.

  * Don’t you just hate miscalculations?  I suspect Mr. Miller didn’t live long enough to recalculate again…probably pretty shamed over the first recalculation…
  

• 1914, 1918, 1925, 1942 – Dates set for the end by the Jehovah’s Witnesses

  * If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again.  I guess that explains their recruitment campaign.

• 1981 – Chuck Smith predicted that Jesus would probably return by 1981

  * Probably.  But maybe not.  Just in case.
  

• 1988 – Publication of 88 Reasons why the Rapture is in 1988, by Edgar C. Whisenant.

  * So…maybe you needed 89 reasons?

• 1989 – Publication of The final shout: Rapture report 1989, by Edgar Whisenant. More predictions by this author appeared for 1992, 1995, and other years.

  * Yeah…about my first book…

• 1992 – Korean group “Mission for the Coming Days” predicted October 28, 1992 as the date for the rapture.

  * New mission for the coming days…don’t make bad predictions…

• 1993 – Seven years before the year 2000. The rapture would have to start to allow for seven years of the Tribulation before the Return in 2000. Multiple predictions.

  * Perfect!  Just enough time for the Y2K bug to wreak its havoc upon the world…

• 1994 – Pastor John Hinkle of Christ Church in Los Angeles predicted June 9, 1994. Radio evangelist Harold Camping predicted September 6, 1994.

  * Hmm…1994 wasn’t a good year for these folks.  Maybe they went through a bad break-up or something…

• 2011 – Harold Camping’s revised prediction has May 21, 2011 as the date of the rapture.

  * Well Mr. Camping…your first prediction didn’t go so well…wanna make a bet on this one with me?  Oh, and I have some prime real estate on a beach in Iqaluit for you…no, really…I do…

• 2060 – Sir Isaac Newton proposed, based upon his calculations using figures from the book of Daniel, that the Apocalypse could happen no earlier than 2060.

  * I tend to believe this guy.  He discovered gravity.

Well, just in case…I wanted to make sure Ian and I were ready for the rapture.  So we practiced our apocalypse skills a couple of years ago when we got married.  See?  Well prepared…  Remember…Rule # 2 in Zombieland and the end times…Beware of Bathrooms…

Ready for the apocalypse...